Her
by Wanted.Muse
Summary: Or is it because of her?" Ichigo was glad he took the time to think of an appropriate answer, because, really, 'her' was too vague a word. Manga Spoiler: Chapter 340. IchiRuki ONESHOT


Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach.

Manga Spoilers: This oneshot was written in reference to Chapter 340.

Enjoy!

**HER**

"Or is it because of her?" the fourth Espada had asked.

Ichigo would have immediately answered 'yes' had not a weird thought entered his mind: 'Her' was too vague a word.

As opposed to popular belief (and what Rukia says), Ichigo is not a dumb idiot. He is actually observant and perceptive to the things happening around him. Also, he is aware of his and other people's feelings. He just chose to ignore them. And with good reasons at that.

Example 1—Chad. He knew Chad was feeling useless and out of place in this war. The both of them used to have each other's backs, but with Ichigo's sudden surge in power during the last few months, only little assistance was needed. In fact, Chad felt he was an additional burden, another human to protect.

Why didn't Ichigo say anything then?

Chad may be quiet, but he is a man of great pride. If Ichigo tried to bring the subject up, the other man's pride would be hurt. It was a great relief for Ichigo to know that, instead of wallowing in self-pity, Chad had chosen to train harder to be able to catch up with his friends. Which he did, by the way.

Example 2—Ishida. Ishida is one hardworking and dedicated guy. He lost his powers in his battle with crazy freak-o captain Kurotsuchi Mayuri, and yet he is here in Hueco Mundo, even stronger than before. Of course, Ichigo knew his regaining of power was only partly due to pride. Another part, and more honorable at that, was the will to protect those to him, especially a certain well-endowed Shun Shun Rikka user. Yes. Ishida had, and obviously still has, a crush on Inoue.

Why doesn't Ichigo say anything then?

Ishida would not appreciate it. He wouldn't thank Ichigo; in fact, he might just hunt him down instead. He would not be grateful for the praise and, at the same time, Ichigo would never show admiration to the retarded stick Ishida. They both find that gay-ish. Ishida also would not like it if he knew that Ichigo knew of his supposed-secret crush.

Example 3—Renji. Renji is another man to be reckoned with. He is not the lieutenant of the sixth squad for nothing—although his wardrobe could be greatly improved. A lot. It is a good thing that such strength did not go to the wrong side as he is fighting for what he believes is right. He may seem like a joker most of the time but he is actually very moral. Most of the time he is broken between following his stuck-up captain and helping his troublemaker friends (like yours truly; at least, that's what most people think). In the end though, he has a very good discretion and he is very supportive of his friends. Too supportive actually, much to Ichigo's vexation, of an annoying midget shinigami. Ichigo did not need to be observant to know that Renji admires—ahem, like, ahem—Rukia. Though Renji does not act on it, Ichigo is aware that if given the chance to confess, Renji would take it.

Why doesn't Ichigo say anything then?

Absolutely no way in hell is Ichigo going to help Renji get Rukia. If he wants her, he'll have to get through Byakuya's wrath by himself. And Ichigo's afterward (seeing as he's also overprotective of her). And absolutely no way is he going to give Renji a list of his positive traits—he's be too flattered, that pineapple bighead.

Example 4. Rukia. Rukia, though small, has a pretty pig heart. She always acts cold and aloof, trying to be the noble Kuchiki she is expected to be. In actuality, she is slightly a bit of her rockers and she cares a lot about her friends—to the point of forgetting about her safety to put theirs first. She is confused, Ichigo knows. This is because she thinks she doesn't have a place in the real world and yet she feels more at home there than in Soul Society. Also, she thinks she doesn't deserve the relationships she has established now, the joy she's actually feeling, due to some hard past she has. She is still struggling with whatever that past may be.

Why doesn't Ichigo say anything then?

If he brought anything up, they'd end up arguing again. And with them arguing, there is huge chance that Rukia would kick him in the face—again—just to shut him up. So instead of reprimanding her of her tendency to put others first, he would just reject all her opinions when it comes to that matter and protect her anyway he knows how. He would also try his best to make her realize that she has a place in the human world. Because, really, how could she not? She didn't just change his life (to the right direction), she also changed the other people's lives consequently. (She changed Ichigo who in turn changed others, so everything really started with her.) Lastly, he's pretty scared of learning about her past. Call him a coward but he knew that this past was related to a man called Kaien and he doesn't know if he should be glad about that. Besides, he does not need to pester her about it. She'll tell him when she's ready. He'll wait just as she waited until he was ready to speak of his rainy past.

Example 5—Inoue. Inoue is a bubbly girl with absolutely weird thoughts and fatal cooking skills (literally). But Ichigo knew that, deep inside, she is a sad girl. Her brother died when she was still so young and she had no other choice but to be strong for herself (and it is a good thing she did not give up). Although strong, beautiful and well-blessed, she has a lot of insecurities—about not being strong enough, about always being protected, and, Ichigo knew, about not being able to be good enough for him. Yes. Ichigo knows that Inoue likes him. He is aware that it used to be just a crush and that it has now turned into something like love.

Why doesn't Ichigo say anything then?

The girl already has a lot of problems in her life and he doesn't want to add to them. It may be a cowardly thing to do, ignoring her feelings, but he doesn't know how else to adder this problem. He regrets he didn't do anything about it sooner, but that is past and he can't do anything about it now. Ichigp used to think he could return her feelings. She was a nice girl. But Ichigo is one for justice and he knew that he wouldn't be fair to Inoue if he took advantage of her feelings. He won't act on anything unless he is sure he can give her what she deserves. And Ichigo knows now that he can never give that, especially with his current situation.

What current situation exactly?

Example 6—Himself. Ichigo knows he is struggling with a lot of things, what with the human-shinigami-vizard issue, the current war, and this sudden rescue mission. He also knows that he has some kind of a hero complex. He knows what he dislikes and what he wants. He is quick to say them, except those that are potentially life-changing and will need much thinking. An example would be his growing feelings for his partner and savior, Rukia. He doesn't know how he could describe it as growing when he's already in love with her; but if it's getting stronger every day, then there's no other way to describe it as growing. He is aware of his feelings but he is not sure when it all started. Either way, he will most likely not act on it until a long, long while because 1) Byakuya would kill him, 2) Renji will torture him, 3) Inoue would get hurt, 4) Ishida would skewer him for hurting Inoue, and 5) Rukia might reject him, and that might truly be the end of his life. Dramatic, yeah, but Ichigo was a softie inside.

So when Ulquiorra had asked him if he grew stronger because of 'her', his initial though of 'her' was Rukia. And he would no doubt have answered 'yes'. But then again, 'her' could have referred to other girls, like Inoue for example. If he answers 'yes' and Inoue takes it the wrong way, a big misunderstanding would follow. That's why Ichigo chose not to answer and just stare hard at Ulquiorra at that short moment.

And when, after a few seconds, Ulquiorra asked, "Or is it because of your friends fighting outside?" and Ichigo realized that 'her' really referred Inoue, he was suddenly glad he took the moment to think and chose to keep his mouth shut.

Fin.


End file.
